rollercoaster...

the past two days have sent me in a wide variety of emotional directions... my world has suddenly become full of new sights, new pain and new hope... beginning with my first spontaneous road trip outside of the city, it appeared as though it was to be a weekend to remember... cold beers, an ipod full of tunes and plenty of laughs led myself and two new-found friends on a journey to the edges of kluane national park... with my mind deeply absorbed in the adventure, i was given a sign of what's missing by way of a fortune cookie... it's small strip of wisdom inside read: "now is a good time to call a loved one at a distance from you"...

when we finally reached the still, fresh air of kathleen lake, all the noise of the world just seemed to drip away into a faint echo... the rocks clung to the warmth of the sun and felt soothing as we laid down upon them in the afternoon shadows... the mountains were like the most surreal backdrop to a theatre show you'd only dream of... i turned to my companions at one point and simply said, "hey guys... i live in the yukon", as though it had never truly clicked until now... when asked how i feel about that, i simply smiled and nodded as i gazed out at the indescribable beauty of my surroundings...

i went to sleep that night on a high of happiness... yet when i awoke i was introduced to my first experience of detachment... i learned the hard way how it feels as the lives of those i love change without me there to bear witness... now, my shoulder can only cradle a phone, not act as a place for them to rest their head and shed a tear... it hurt to think i'd let someone down -- to think that if only i'd been there... i felt pulled in by the heavy helplessness of my inability to reach out... barely able to touch accept through words... pangs of guilt almost stopped me from continuing my day as per usual... but the therapy of a bike ride and barbecue with friends helped to heal my soul...

as i walked home today, along the same path as every other day, i felt slightly numb... sombre music filled my ears and i contemplated about everything that filled my head... i realized that i wasn't even sure what to do with all the thoughts, all the mixed emotions i was contained with... and then...

a promise that i knew would always be kept, is coming true... a secret kept so long, but sometimes surprises can't wait... and now, neither can i...