dear sarah palin,
hey there... i'm from the yukon -- perhaps you've seen the region from your front window... hint: it's in canada, where we've got plenty of joe six-packs...
any hoot... happy to see you've snuck your way back into the media sphere... it had been a quiet (and intelligent) past few months without you around... although i did enjoy your appearance to pardon a turkey... i know -- it's not your fault a guy was slaughtering the poor birds in the background while you smiled to the press through your interview...
but really, sarah... reappearing in the headlines sobbing is not the way to impress anyone... are you really pointing the finger at katie and tina? you and tina seemed fine during your appearance on SNL... like twin sisters or something... and katie, well, there's no point in kicking someone when they're already down...
why didn't you just name a newspaper you read? it's the one time name dropping probably would have just done you some good... why don't you just give up the lies and admit trig is from the same planet as xenu, er, suri cruise? wait... i digress, it's wrong for me to assume that someone so, uh, imaginative as yourself would be involved in a fake religion... as for tina, well, she does deserve some props... whether you choose to admit it or not, she did represent you with an uncanny sense of comedy... and they say imitation is the best form of flattery...
in all honesty sarah, how do you think you did? have you taken the time to curl up with your polar bear skin rug/blanket, pour yourself a cup of hot cocoa, let your hair down and review all of your appearances? you made it sooooo easy... c'mon!!! the winks, the "you betcha" moments -- gold!!! but not the good gold, sweetie...
and now you're ranting and raving that the media brought you down... the big, bad media... sure, caroline kennedy might not receive the same "treatment" as you did, sweet sarah... but, once again, just like g-dubyah himself, you just made it soooooo easy!!!
maybe the media did come on a little strong... maybe they wanted to know a little too much about you, from your perspective... but you were vying for one of the top spots to lead a NATION!!! and you came out of nowhere!!! sure, i'd heard of you and i know where alaska is -- but only because of proximity and my boredom activity of googling too much...
you say you want to run again in the future, perhaps even for the head-honcho spot... well, my dear, start growing that thick skin now or your ass is grass... if even republicans were worried about your "political liability" after the couric interview, you better start practicing some new savvy one-liners and brush up on your geography soon to be prepped for 2012... oh, and next time, cut down on the designer duds -- that'll keep you out of some hot water... and scrap the whole pit bull/lipstick thing... just quit the cute all together... barbie was pretty awesome when i was a kid, but now i know she's nothing more than an outdated and unfortunate female figure with synthetic hair and no soul...
yours,
t.m.
