mating masochism...

"the rules of fair play do not apply in love and war."
john lyly, euphues (1578)

i'd like to think that's an excuse, more than words to live by...

quite truly, it's absolutely horrible what we put each other through... whether same sex or opposite sex, the ridiculous dance of the relationship is often filled with utter disrespect and blatant broken promises -- not to sound pessimistic or anything... side note: the author of this post, me, has not given up on said dance, but has noticed over the past few years, months, weeks that we all contribute to the difficulty that comes along with it...

take, for example, the deliciously adorable film "500 days of summer"... i recently watched it with a couple of friends and we all yelled at the screen as zooey deschanel fluttered her gorgeous eyelashes at joseph gordon-levitt, knowing full well she never intended to make an honest man of him...

does admitting no intention of a relationship still allow for full blown flirtation? is this not the very essence of tugging at the heartstrings of another?

we attract and we detract our attention from others on a daily basis... we glow in the warmth of being adored, yet sometimes steer away from the consequences that come along with it... we say things we mean and then the things that just sound good... we do things that we mean and then the things that just feel good...

what most regularly gets lost in the shuffle is the expectation and delivery of honesty... we'd like to think "it's better to have been adored and ignore than to never have been adored at all" -- or something like that... we pull on people's heartstrings for our own benefit and then back pedal when it all falls apart in our face...

right up there on the difficulty scale with algebra and a one million piece puzzle is matters of the heart... possibly one of the most courageous things we do is admit how we feel to another... putting it all out there is both terrifying and exhilarating... and then we wait to see how it all plays out -- more often than not without the fairy tale fate of "happily ever after"...

too many times we don't stop to think about being in the other person's shoes, wondering how it would feel to be on the other side of the situation... we instead concentrate on the selfish gains and the flattery... we lap it up like a protein shake of self esteem...

what we too frequently forget is that a little bit of honesty goes a long way... also remember that, as they say, "actions speak louder than words"... do only as you intend... while honesty may not always lead to an intended romantic rendezvous and rather a type of rejection, it's better to know the details than go on playing an endless game of wonder... perhaps there should be rules after all...