don't get me wrong, i've read advice books that are supposed to make you understand something... heck, i even read three-quarters of "he's just not that into you" a few years ago to soothe the pain of a break-up... but under no circumstances have i ever repeatedly connected my life to any sort of "list", "expectation", "premonition" or "rule"...
for some unknown reason i have come into contact with a few female friends that throw their caution, self-respect and common sense into the pages of self-help books, magazine relationship columns and a variety of spiritual practices... they don't just read this for the mild entertainment from the sexist prejudice of it all; they take it as the truth, the answers...
call me cynical, but every person i've ever met is head over heels different from the other... so how is it that a book, a set of cards or a cosmo quiz can tell you exactly what you need to know? i've always found it more productive to sit down with a live person, a friend, someone who knows me, and wax poetically about life, share experiences and somehow figure out what it is that i want or need... not from a marketable source...
perhaps it's like religion; the idea that we need something to believe in and that we seek answers because without them we feel lost... a friend of mine just ended a long-term relationship and last night she told me that a book about "singledom" suggested she make a list of what she wants out of a relationship -- what is her idea of the "perfect man"... i can't identify with this... i can't fathom wanting to create a list... to me it would only stifle any conversation i could have with a member of the opposite sex -- i'd be dissecting each word or action of theirs based on this fictitious list of personality goals... often the right things can come in the most unexpected packages...
i'm not saying it's wrong to seek direction... if a book heals or makes sense of something you feel the need to find answers to, then so be it... but i think we need to step back sometimes and realize that everything doesn't come with a blatant rhyme, reason or mathematical equation... we should spend more time living and less time trying to figure it all out...
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the saying may go that "actions speak louder than words," but in my opinion words actually shout decibels above any move one could make... so expressive, interpretive and intense... all you need to find is a method to your madness to avoid rambling nonsense...
