now what?

"forever always seems to be around when it begins... but forever never seems to be around when it ends..." - ben harper

almost three years in one place and it's not to say i haven't both loved and loathed it, but at certain times things feel like they're standing still... perhaps i can attribute it to a lack of direction (as these days i seem to tackle a different project every hour) or perhaps it's all a product of an uncertain vision...

you know what question people always resort to... the one about "where do you picture yourself in five years?"... well, to be goody-two shoes honest, i have NO idea... not in the i'm-not-a-psychic-you-idiot way, but in the i'm-not-even-sure-what-i-want way...

no pity required on this one though... it's not a sense of loss or a sense of defeat or regret... nah... it's just that i'm more and more skeptical about how we can seriously devote ourselves to particular things for years and years on end... isn't that the breeding ground for boredom?

a few weeks ago i even had a conversation with a happily partnered girlfriend and we talked about how it's a bit daunting to envision being with ONE man/woman for the rest of your life... it might feel a little terrible to say, but c'mon... the word forever is pretty heavy... at the risk of sounding dark, nothing can really last forever...

this post, much like my decision-making right now, has very little to no direction... there's no answer after the jump... no moral to this familiar story... maybe that's the problem, or maybe that's what makes it exciting... i'll let you know if i ever figure it out...